Seeking a friend for the end of the world... oh, wait...too late

Part of me is happy not to be stuck with someone...having to answer for my every allergic sneeze, or pollen filled cough. 

But, it was always my goal to have a best male friend as my partner in crime.

But I dont think that's ever gonna happen.  For a multitude of reasons.
And I swear, I am so ridiculously, deleriously, sick of hearing the platitudes of "you are such a wonderful woman...he's out there somewhere" that i could vomit enough to warrant a covid test.

Let us all just be honest.  No one is equipped to handle me. I'm too #heidemaintenance and too weird and broken in ways other people arent.  It is cool and fun in short durations.  But, it is irritating and frustrating to guys over any length of time.

So, yeah...that's what I've been thinking about lately.  Fuck my dreams.  Fuck joy.  Fuck it all.  I am going back to being dead inside.  It'll be easier to hide my disappointment.

2019 Wrap up

Wow, what a year it's been.

I've been so busy focused on my house for the last half of it that it just flew by.  Still in the middle of demolition, and will begin reconstruction in the new year.

I've read a whole 55 books, and that's awesome!

My biggest highlight was getting to see my long-lost cousin in Tennessee.  It was so awesome.  I had such a great time with her.  And it was if I had never lost any time with her.  Except for the fact that we were grown and could do anything we wanted without adult permission/supervision.


Highlights from this year:

• Jan - Don's retirement party
• Feb - HARI for training
• Mar - Sherry Quinn's retirement party
• April - Greek with Katie & Derrick, Lunch with Larry, and SECU testing on the Mobile App.
• May - Met Corrie in TN, SECU Board Mtg, Beethoven's Piano Concerto #3 with Dad, PTA Handover 5/30.
• June - DSI Job with Heather where I learned how to enter in the computer; got new red glasses; Held Michele and Mark's wedding; Went to a Durham Bulls game with Rob, Reno and Dad; and Dowdy's retirement party; Lunch with Tammy & Steve; Ice Cream with Dad, Rob, Reno, Val, Keith, & Z; BBwks interview.  Started working there in July; and Joanne's retirement party.
• July - Reno Citizenship party @ ORO; Found MadHatter on Wizards Unite (we're fast friends now).
• Aug - Paris is Burning screening with Dad; Mudcats game with Heather & Christian (my first); SECU Board Mtg; Fell off a ladder at BBwks
• Sept - Water Heater exploded.  I cease to have a kitchen; Abatement Co comes out to give an estimate; Lunch with Marjorie & Pattycakes
• Oct - Z's 18th birthday party; SECU Big Mtg in Grnsboro; Went to Black Mtn to visit with Dani & Paul; Brunch with Michele; James' (pattycakes) birthday party at the mining place; CHOP's retirement party; Karen's Halloween Party; Halloween @ Rob & Reno's
• Nov - Valloween; Packout for my kitchen; Abatement; SECU Holiday party at Winston's; Worked my first Black Friday @ Bbwks
• Dec - Worked my first Candle day, and my first 4.95 event @ bbwks; Vals Birthday Brunch; Reno's Holiday Party; Work's Holiday Party; Reno's progressive dinner; Lunch with Steve & Tammy; Rob & Reno Xmas Dinner (met some new people).  Also took Dad to Simple Greek and he loved it.

Some of the things I'm proud of myself for this year - I've met a bunch of new people both thru work, and friends.  I've been really patient not having a kitchen.  55 freaking books!!!