Sunday, January 18, 2015

Do people change?

One of the things I'd like to do more of this year would be to post at least one blog per month.  In an effort to do this, I've created an entire board on pintrest to help me.  I'm going to answer some of the January questions on that board over the next few days.

One of the first questions I want to write about is "Do you think people change?"

When I was younger, I would have answered with a resounding "no."  But, I feel this is a more complicated question than it seems.  When originally asked that question it's normally in reference to "does a leopard change his/her spots" type of question.  But it's really not as shallow as it first seems.

One of my favorite quotes is by Alvin Toffler "Change is not merely necessary to life - it is life."
Change: by Alvin Toffler

This holds true on both a broader scale as well as a more personal one.  Change is everything.  Change is all.  It is ambivalent and apathetic - neither good nor bad.  It simply is.  Therefore, to truly live, we are constantly changing.

What mustn't change is our inner core of being.  We can be open to experience and change, but you must still have a sense of self.  You must remain true to your being.  No one knows this better than parents.  You have created this being that is so much like you, and so dissimilar.  And often, when you have very small children, you tend to lose yourself in them.

So, simply put - do people change:  yes.  All the time.  Even by trying not to change, the influences around them as well as the information that they are exposed to, are constantly changing.  And thus, their perceptions, ideas, and thoughts are also in a constant state of fluctuation.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Am I doing this right?

In a few days my baby girl will officially be a teenager.
I streaked her hair blue.
That can't be a good
parenting decision, right?
My mom would have had a fit!

For some reason, this is hitting me SUPER hard.  I feel like my teaching moments are now over.

It feels like the first time you get behind the wheel after getting your license.  You've read the book, you took the test, and you passed.  But, this is the drive home from the DMV with your brand new license.  Let's see how badly you can fuck this up.

Well, that's what it feels like anyway.  I've taught her everything I know (and more, since I didn't know half the crap before I had to look it up on google or youtube).  And now, it's time to see if she drives straight into a pole, or if she makes it home intact, per-say.  

For some reason, this crippling doubt has crept in and can't be shaken.  Logically, I know that she will still be exactly the same as yesterday, tomorrow.  But I can't help feeling like I've failed her in some way.  In most ways.

I'm a horrible example and I hope she does better than me.  She didn't come with instructions on how NOT to screw it all up.  But, I still feel like I should have done more.

And, I'm feeling old now that she's a teen.  (ohmigawd, I can't believe I just typed that out loud!  She's a teen!  Someone hand me a paper bag, because I'm hyperventilating!)

I'm not going to lie, I'm totally freaking out.  Is this my early mid-life crisis?