Wednesday, April 13, 2016

I never was enough.
I never will be.

It doesnt matter that i was left to deal with the aftermath and still find a way to make life work with as little disruption as possible.

It doesnt matter that i spent years running the inner workings of a household and made sure she was fed, clothed, a d relatively happy.

It doesnt matter that i worked full time thru school.  It doesnt matter that half way thru i had a baby to add to the mix.

It doesnt matter.
My worth as a person is tied directly to my failure in marriage.

And so the cycle continues.
Never escape the failure.
Never be accepted.
Never have peace.
Never enough.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016


I can almost guarantee that the ladies out there will know the feeling I'm about to talk about. And hopefully some of the gentleman out there will understand it as well.

It isn't so much the feeling as it is the cause of it that has me stymied right now.

I feel, decidedly, un-pretty today.  Just blah.  Nothing in particular was horribly wrong.  My makeup was on point, my hair was okay (not great, but not horrible), my clothes were okay, and my hormones should be fine.  So, WHY do I feel apathetic about my look today?  There was no one thing that stood out as being off.  I can understand feeling this way during certain times of the month, but again -hormones are okay right now.

So, does anyone else ever feel this way WITHOUT cause?  It's a mystery to me.